Long Way...

As always I feel like I haven’t done anything worth talking about in the last few days. However, here I am sitting in front of the computer thinking that I’ve just watched the most inspiring series of documentaries. Forget about boring nature, or educative history/archaeology/palaeontology, or the typical rancid travel documentary.

I was thinking the other day that the last few months I lived in the UK I was constantly watching TV. A big chunk of that time I was watching sitcoms or CSI kind of shows, but I would also sit through a lot programmes like Megastructures, the Bear Gills ones, Grand Designs, etc. The one I never caught on any channel and sounded quite interesting was Long Way Round.

Yes, I know, another Ewan McGregor thing, but don’t worry, I’m not going to go the teenager way and watch every single movie he ever worked on. I draw the line at Starwars...

But this is different; it’s really catchy for a documentary. After watching the first 2 episodes I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t wait to see what hardship and adventures they went through. Of course they had support, publicity and all the help that being famous attracts wherever you are in the world, especially if you are being followed by TV cameras, but all those muddy dirt tracks, and camping, and not knowing if they are going to make it to the next town are so exciting to watch...

And as always I end up daydreaming about that idea that I had some time ago, that I would like to do a road trip across America (in a car, of course), from New York to LA... A dream is always a dream, but who knows? Maybe one day I will manage to make it come true.

Happy Ending

"Happy Ending" by Mika

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love [repeat]

I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

In other words...

The last couple of days I’ve been feeling quite down. Loneliness is never too far away even when I’m surrounded by people, and I can’t help but think that what seemed to be a recovery over the last year or so, has turned out to be a mirage, and I was trying to convince myself that things were getting better. In fact, I so desperately wanted things to get better that I forced myself to act as if everything was ok. But that’s very tiring.

What helped me believe things were actually on the up was that for the first time someone seemed to pay a small amount of attention to me. I can’t say that didn’t make me feel over the moon while it lasted, but the key part of it is the “while it lasted”, because of course it didn’t, leaving me with the feeling that I didn’t deserve the attention in the first place, and making me sink even deeper in my own desperation.

A way out? If there is one, it’s a long way away. I just hope my so called friends don’t get tired of my moaning.

But then, as suddenly as it came, this serious case of PMS cured itself, and this afternoon I decided that all I can do is what I’ve been doing all along. Keep going, never stop making plans for myself, and look at the bright side of things. How long is it gonna last? That’s a good question, but in case I need some reasons to be happy about myself in the next few weeks and months, this is the result of my reasoning:

• I’m back on track on my loan repayments, so my money problems are on the way to solving themselves. If I’ve had patience until now, I can wait a bit longer.
• I have an amazing family, and a few very good friends that I trust will be there for me come rain or shine (men will come and go -especially go- but family and friends will still be there).
• If I’ve managed to enchant a few frogs and turn them into prince charmings temporarily, I can probably do it again. Not that it should be a priority at all; it’s just proof that I’m not completely unlikeable.
• If I managed to get a degree (however useless one), and be able to keep a job (even get a commendation from time to time) I can’t be that stupid.

Summarising, I’m a catch: money wise (not rich just jet), loving, pretty, clever... hahahaha!! Should I add funny to the list? Maybe I’ve just discovered comedy is one of my hidden talents... or maybe not...

Cubic Houses

One minute I’m watching the latest Tom Cruise mission impossible type movie, the next I’m researching all over the internet about tin roofs. And what do I find? Cubic houses... So much seventies cool and idealism, that luckily was conceived in a country with some respect for town planning, otherwise they would have been bulldozered the minute they started to look a bit run down, instead of giving them a cool new tin roof.

On a rare lucid moment I put my sorrows behind and started reading about one of the things that doesn’t ever bore me, buildings. As I said, it all started when I was watching “Knight and day”. Silly movie as hell, so I was paying attention to all kind of uninteresting details. One of the scenes you can see Mr. Cruise escaping from the bad guys running above some old city’s roofs and jumping from building to building over some inexplicably pristine tin roofs. That made me think that the only time I saw a real tin roof close up was when my friend Sylvia lived in an attic flat back when we were in uni. I was wondering about that when I had the magnificent idea of reading a bit about it on the internet. I ended up in some Dutch company’s website ( http://www.nedzink.nl/ ), and among the examples they were giving of their work were the “cubic houses”. As always, one thing leads to another, and I was fascinated by the design and could not pass the opportunity of having a look at it in more detail.

There is a website (although quite outdated) that explains the whole concept of the cubic houses, the history of the project and a brief biography of the architect. If you are as crazy as me, you can have look at it. http://www.kubuswoning.nl/

Back to the movie, Knight and Day... you can imagine, Tom Cruise on a “mission impossible” style role, pretty innocent girl that turns out to be a hero, conspiracies, and an astonishing lack of research (whoever decided the San Fermin bull runs take place in Seville should have lost his/her job). I think I’ve already talked enough about it. Totally not worth it.

Sexy knickers

Thongs or pants? This is the eternal question. I agree that nice underwear makes you feel better about yourself and that there is no woman in the world who doesn’t have a few embarrassingly old or big pieces of underwear in their drawer. However, I’ll never agree that it’s unacceptable to undress in front of a man wearing anything other than a thong. Call me old-fashioned, or prude (as my flatmate loves to call me) but I hate them. For me underwear can be as small as you want but it has to cover at least part of my butt cheeks. Although in this case I have to agree with her that I need to go underwear shopping, I have far too many embarrassing pieces and too little “feel-good-factor” ones (forget about sexy, who knows when there will be another person who will want to see me take them off).

Is she going to succeed in “sexyfying” me? Well, I’ve been worse than I am, but there is sooooo much room for improvement that it can’t be too hard. I’m going to offer a good deal of resistance though, I’m too stuck in my old ways, hehehe. But all I have to say is: It all depends on my state of mind, if I feel good about myself, I’ll make a bigger effort, not because I convince myself that I need to look good, but because it comes naturally out of me.

On a completely different topic, last night there was yet another staff party. The first one that I didn’t go. And apparently people were surprised to see my flatmate there but not me. I never thought I was carving myself a reputation of party girl. Funny!!

So what have I been up to lately? Not much, I have finally stated having weekends off, and that means... partyyyyy!!!!!! I think this is where the reputation comes from. Four or five weeks in a row, that must be a record. Other than that, it has been hot as hell, so we’ve been hitting the beach a few days. And that’s why there are no pictures anywhere... Drunk or semi naked people don’t exactly make the best photos (unless the one on the pictures is famous and you are on the paparazzi business). Ooooohhhhh!!!! I’ve just realised there is no photos of me around here... maybe someday I’ll find a remedy to that.