Conspiracies

Why can´t people be straightforward and say what they think, do what they believe it’s best and stop conspiring against everyone else; stop thinking that everyone has something to hide and just get on with their lives. Some of us have things to hide, not because they are worth hiding, just out of sheer embarrassment, and I probably always will until I learn how to laugh at myself, but that’s not likely to happen soon, so I’ll keep a bit of mystery about myself for now...

All this comes to my mind after watching The Ghost Writer. I only watched it because I had nothing better to do, and the sight of Ewan McGregor for 2 hours didn’t seem like such a bad idea, but I quickly got tired of all the mystery, spying, etc. Although I should have expected it, I get really tired of all this cold war American conspiracy theories that the CIA controls everything, knows everything and will kill to avoid the truth getting out (I’ve probably just butchered the movie if you haven’t watched it), but come on!!! Still, to be fair I have to say the movie is not bad, I just wasn't in the mood for that kind of story.

On the other hand, lately I’ve been watching The Big Bang Theory. It’s funny to watch a bunch of socially inadequate geeks interact with the rest of the world. I suppose everybody picks a favourite character on shows like this. In this case I think Sheldon is the best, his conversation skills are like reading a textbook on social conventions, just great. It must be my own insecurities that make me sympathise with the characters... I don’t know, but I’m getting addicted. And I don’t care if my flatmate thinks it’s a guy’s show. I tend to agree with my sister who once said that she’s happy that she works with machines, because people are too complicated.

New house, new life?

I recently moved to a new house with a workmate. The house is in a better area of the city, brand new, and we now pay less rent than living on our own, so it should all be good but, is it? I’ve been quite busy lately, with the move and trying to get a social life outside the house. However, things haven’t changed that much.

I still have my own obsessions and frustrations that I try to keep to myself. The problem is that, it’s what I always do, try to bury things at the back of my mind instead of facing reality and doing something about it. Specially the last few weeks I’ve been too busy trying to help a friend get over hear own broken heart and organise the move, but then, as always, the truth comes out, and I get a good telling off from the same friend, because I shouldn’t keep things quiet like that, that she would do anything she could to help me. But what do I want? I wish I could be cold and stop feeling lonely, but I can’t; or I wish I had enough self confidence in myself to pursue my own interests, but I don’t think I can take being rejected for the third time by the same person. I know myself, I’ll end up doing nothing about it and later regret it for being such a chicken. How can I let her know? Would that help in any way? I want people to tell me the truth, but then I don’t want to hear it because it’s too painful and retreat to my own fantasy world, but I’m already too old for that.

And then after my efforts to meet other people (have I really made any effort?) I end up watching the football at home on my own. Not that I’m football crazy, but a match like this cannot be missed... and the world cup is only every 4 years, so I have an excuse, I hope. Anyway, it’s not every day that you can see your national team reach a world cup final.

OMG!! Do I ever stop moaning? I need to stop or I’ll have to agree my ex could have been right sometimes, and I can’t let that happen...

Anyway, the house is great, we are more or less settled now, after a week with no gas or hot water... and it has the most amazing terrace. It’s a shame we haven’t been able to enjoy it yet because it’s been too hot, and we have no outdoors furniture. A couple of chairs and a little table would be nice, but I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon. I can’t wait to make a big dinner and get a few people together in here (if possible with a few bottles of wine, hehe).

I’ve been thinking, and I can’t remember having done anything special lately, no new books, or movies, or recipes, or anything else for that matter. The most interesting thing I’ve done lately was a “little walk” to explore the area around the house, which ended up in a 10 Km round trip around the last bit of the Douro to Foz, then up the coast towards Matosinhos, lunch at the edificio transparente and finaly up avenida de Boavista to get back home. I said “little walk” because we only intended to check out where the nearest shops were, but ended up walking for hours, it was kind of cool though...