All this comes to my mind because, for the first few months in Porto, people were getting the feel of each other, trying to figure out who got on with whom, but since the good weather started things seem to have settled down. Definite groups are starting to form, and I don’t seem to be part of any of them. There is the “cool” people that meet at the beach, go to concerts or on nights out together... a lot of other people have their own lives and friends, and everybody else more or less have their own circle of friends that they will meet whenever. As always, I get on with everybody, but seek refuge in the company of one or two friends, always too worried about standing out for the wrong reasons and feeling like I don’t really fit in anywhere. For god sake!! I’m almost 30 and still behaving like a bloody teenager!!!
Obviously my last love life fiasco has not done anything to improve my self-esteem. After months of talking, going to the cinema a few times and a couple of other “outings”, I was starting to really like this guy. The general opinion was that he was finding it hard to deal with a recent separation, so I tried to convince myself that things would never go further. I noticed he was acting wierd for a few days, then, he called me one day to say we should just be “friends” and avoid getting into anything more confusing (when, in fact, it was just an euphemism for being polite for a few days and avoiding each other afterwards). I tried to act cool, not show my disappointment, the problem is, even if I could see it coming, that was the last thing I wanted to hear... But what could I expect; I’m the invisible one... I don’t enjoy attracting attention and don’t stand out for anything; I’m not ugly, but I’m no beauty either; I’m nice to everyone and have a pleasant temperament (I think) but not one of those people that wins everyone with their personality; I like going out, but I’m not the centre of any party... You see where I’m heading to? Next to the definition of dull there should be a picture with my face.
Then a couple of days ago I came to the realization that it’s not anyone in particular that I miss (although I would have an obvious choice) but the idea of not being on my own. And this is even more frustrating, since I’m trying to convince myself that my life is not going to change, and that I need to start making plans for the future on my own.
An Education...Is that what respectable ladies used to do until they found a suitable husband? Is it still the case? Maybe I should have settled for the first nice guy that showed some interest in me instead or pursuing any kind of intellectual and personal goal. It’s funny how this film is all politically correct just by setting it during the 50s, I suppose the subject would be quite controversial if it was set in 21st century Britain.
I only watched it because it had a couple of Oscar nominations (I couldn’t say how many or if it got them) and someone’s recommendation. Also the fact that it’s just over 1h 30m helped me choose it (it seems you have to make a film over 3 hours to turn it into a classic... rubbish!). It started quite well when I saw the screenplay was written by Nick Hornby. I’ve read a couple of his books and I liked them. It all looked quite promising and it didn’t disappoint me. There aren’t any great heroes, or special effects, but there is quite an inspiring personal story with a happy ending, even if not a romantic one. Who needs romantic comedies anyway!
Auch! I’ve just realised the director is Danish... now I understand the recommendation!!!
